One of my favorite pictures of our place. These are the fields behind the house, and the view from the kitchen window (the fields on the right, where the horses are, are our property, the fields on the left are the neighbor’s, in the front is part of our driveway).
Two more weeks before we move (back) to Germany. We have tenants for the house, the cat has her vaccination papers, we got rid of the cars and have a container next to the barn to store our stuff… now the move starts.
My Master is moving the truck in the best position, next to the deck so that we don’t have to carry stuff too far, and Sasha is helping as you can see. By being cute. Everything is easier with a cat being cute around, that’s obviously just a fact.
Hugs are one of my very important needs, my No1 bonding/comforting/feeling loved and cared for/intimacy - thing, and when I don’t get enough of them I easily feel neglected. (Long, tight) Hugs are just a crucial part of being happy in a relationship for me. My Master seemed to realize that even before I explained it in words because every time I said 'I need a hug’ He instantly dropped whatever He was doing, even work, and opened His arms for me. About half a year ago, shortly after we came to Canada, during one of these hugs, I asked for a 'Hugs have priority over all other activities’ kind of rule, not because He would have ever ignored my constant need for hugs, but just because I like to 'formalize’ the really important things. So we established the Hugs First Policy. Meaning when I need a hug, I get it, no matter what and without unnecessary delay.
I love this rule and I have the best Master in the world ♥️
We met online last year when she asked me a question via the blog. Later, my dad roped me into a trip to Europe to visit family, and, since she lived close to Cologne, I told her to meet me there. She got sick the week we were supposed to meet, so I changed our travel plans around to be in Cologne on my way back instead.
That day turned out to be a disaster. She was still sick, but didn’t want to blow me off again. The 30 minute train wasn’t running due to construction, so she had to take a special 2h bus that didn’t stop at the normal station, but rather a half hour walk away. She got there to discover that the bus only accepts special tickets bought at the train station, so she had to walk another hour to the station and back. Then her phone died. Actually, I’ve still got a copy of it…
When we finally met up, it was near midnight, and most stuff was closed or closing, but we managed to find a bar and have some Kölsch before they closed. Then we went to watch the bats fly around the cathedral.
When we were done, the trains were all stopped and she had no place to stay. I didn’t feel right taking advantage of her in her drugged out stupor, so we just cuddled in my hotel room overnight. The next morning she bought me triangle bread (it’s a thing in Germany).
As for the name “Dovey”, that comes from my childhood when we lived on the edge of a nature preserve. One day, a dove fluttered in to our deck and took a sip of my mother’s tea. My dad built a little loft under the eaves out of an old crate and the dove took up residence, and we named her “Lovey Dovey”.
In a lot of ways, it felt like Dovey had fluttered into my life, so I figured it fitting to call her “Dovey”. Unbeknownst to me, that’s also what her father called her as a child.
Triangle Bread (picture taken from dasbackhaus.de)
It’s my favorite bread, I told Him about it, that it’s the best bread ever, when He was still in Canada and He informed me, that they don’t have bread like this over there, at all, not in triangle nor other shapes.
I woke up before Him the morning after our date and decided that I want to get Him a farewell gift to thank Him for the night and His efforts to make this date possible (as He said, He changed His travel schedule for me) and when I was thinking what to get, I remembered the bread thing. So I got Him a Triangle Bread.
I thought I’d never see Him again because of the distance (8000 km / 5000 miles, and we both didn’t want a LDR) - and one year later we’re married… I’m sure it was the bread. Give men good food, ladies, that always works! 🐱
What are the 5 countries that you have never been to that you would like to travel to with your master for fun, adventure and enjoyment?
On my ‘places I’d like to see (at least some of) before I die’ - list:
- Machu Pichu (Peru), that’s the most important one, I always wanted to see Machu Pichu since I’m 12 or so, preferably outside of the official hours during sunrise with nobody else there but me (and my Master), maybe that’s unrealistic because not allowed and/or possible, I don’t know.
- Iceland, Ireland & Scotland, second most important, I don’t know why, I just always wanted to go there
The rest in no particular order, just off the top of my head…
- Moscow (Russia)
- Vienna (Austria)
- New York, San Francisco (USA)
- Louvre (Paris, France)
- The northern lights somewhere in the North of Sweden or Finland, I would accept Norway too especially now since my new family in law is partially from there, but originally I was always thinking of Sweden or Finland for some reason
- Africa, again, I’ve been there as a child already but it’s different, when you’re too young you’re not interested in the actually interesting stuff - In Africa especially: Egypt (Pyramids, Sphinx etc) & Nouakchott (Mauretania), for special, personal reasons, I have no idea if there’s anything to see really, but since it’s the largest city in the Sahara it’s probably a worthwhile destination in any case
- Angkor Wat (Cambodia)
- China, though if I’d see Japan that would probably count for me. My Master constantly explains to me how totally different that is but from my European perspective, and as somebody who has never lived there (like He did for five years), it’s close enough
- Transylvania (Romania), just because (:
If I’d think for longer I’d certainly come up with more places but that’s probably enough already…
Formerly on the list, already checked:
- Rome & Tuscany (Italy) - of all of Europe I’ve seen Rome was the most impressive place, if you’re looking for a travel destination in Europe that’s the place to see. Vienna must be No2 from what I’ve heard, but never been there.
- Amsterdam, Brussels, Paris (but didn’t see the Louvre), London, Prague, Luxembourg, Poland, Spain & other smaller places in Europe
- Hiking & Skiing in the Alps (Switzerland)
- Africa (Tunesia, Senegal)
- Since recently Canada, thanks to my Master
- Naturally almost everywhere in Germany, which is quite beautiful too btw
Need help with German word that exists only in the German language. It's about 2 people being together against the world or 2 people being alone in the world but they have one another so like 2 lone wolves together. Thanks.
Yes. Because love - and what comes with it like trust, respect, care, comfort, companionship, support, devotion, closeness physically and mentally etc - is, together with health, the only thing you really need in life in order to be happy.
Tomorrow my Master will leave. For two weeks!! 😭 His first business travel in the new job is right before His yearly visit of His daughter in Japan, so He can’t come back in between.
His flight plan is crazy btw…
Vancouver > Brussels with layover in Amsterdam. Brussels > Japan with layover in Bangkok. Japan > Vancouver with one night layover in Hong Kong.
So literally around the world, and from my (currently Canadian) perspective, first on the other side of the Atlantic, and then on the other side of the Pacific. That’s SO far away! 😿
While He is gone I have to prepare the house for the tenants, because shortly after He’s back, we’ll leave for Germany. Putting everything in boxes and decide what gets stored, dumped or shipped. So I won’t have much time for other things for awhile.
I’m glad I have something to do here while He is away to distract myself, but I know I will feel horribly lonely anyway. Last year His Japan trip was one month after we got together and we were already missing each other so much, this year it will be even worse. We decided next year I’ll come with Him, but for now I have to stay because of all the stuff that has to be organized here.
Anyway… two whole weeks on different sides of the planet. The horror!! I’m too clingy for this shit! The cat will probably get cuddled to death by me during this time.
- So guys, please be extra super nice to me until Oct 2nd for I’ll be Master-less, physically I mean, and therefore very sad ):
I just love that you are a strong independent feminist woman who also happens to be blissfully and happily submissive. I love reading your blog and wish you all the happiness in the world.
Thank you so much, that’s a nice compliment, very much appreciated (: I wish you all the best too 🌼
Let me take this opportunity to write something about feminism from my perspective; not to dissect your Ask, but just as a general statement…
I wouldn’t say I’m a classical feminist as the term is commonly understood and with its usual connotations. I’m an equalist in terms of personal value & potential and general rights, regardless of gender or other individual characteristics (skin color, religion, sexuality, race, physical appearance, economical status, intelligence, family background etc). So in the end I’m probably, unfortunately, an idealist/utopist/theorist.
In the context of ‘genderism’, and at the risk of being inconvenient and attracting haters again, this means, for me personally: I don’t see a reason or necessity to strengthen women’s rights more than men’s rights, or the other way around. I don’t see women in a general victim role, or men. There is discrimination everywhere, and it has to be addressed, wherever it occurs. E.g. women shouldn’t, on average, earn less than men for the same work because competence is somehow intuitively closer connected to manhood than womanhood in people’s collective patterns. Men shouldn’t, on average, get higher sentences in trials because men are intuitively believed to be, potentially, more ‘criminal’. Women should have the right to vote, everywhere, men should have the general right to shared custody for their kids after a breakup. Women are not hysterical when they get emotional, men are not weak or unmanly when they get emotional. Plus a million, at least, other examples. I don’t see more discrimination against women than against men in the bigger picture - even though I understand why most people do, it’s as always a matter of perspective and depends on what exactly you’re looking at and with what mental filters, which we all have, myself included.
Don’t get me wrong here, I don’t mean to say that feminism wouldn’t be valid, quite the opposite. If you find a kind of discrimination that affects you or bothers you enough, it’s a great idea to fight against it by all means at your disposal. I just say that everybody should do that with every kind of discrimination and that this fight for this group’s rights isn’t more or less valid than this other fight for this other group’s rights.
It’s not about male vs female (or A vs B in general) for me, it’s about all humans living in harmony together. As I said… idealist/utopist/theorist.
And now I mentally prepare myself for a shitstorm in my inbox…
This is the road that leads to the little valley where our house is. You don’t see a single building during the last fifteen minutes on the ride to where we live. - And you know that you’re really far outside when Google Maps tells you to ‘Turn right onto Unknown Road’ when talking about your driveway 😺
Denkst du, es wäre besser, wenn Frauen sich allgemein öfter zu ihrer Hörigkeit bekennen würden?
Do you think, it would be better, if women would in general more often admit their ‘Hörigkeit’ (not translatable literally, see my answer for explanation)?
I’m not sure if this is a case of poor choice of words here, but I have to take you literally since I can only see what you wrote and not know what you meant…
Hörigkeit is (borderline-)total dependance on others or at least one other due to the incapability to think for yourself and (thereby) to make decisions on your own. Being hörig implies to have no choice than to submit. As you put it, you assume that all women are hörig (to whom btw?).
In my opinion this hypothesis is simply not correct. In fact Hörigkeit is a rather rare phenomenon I think and the exception, not the norm - and it occurs in males and females. All people are different, they are more or less independent and able to make their own decisions, it’s a spectrum and Hörigkeit is at one end of it so it is by definition an extreme. ‘Women are hörig’ is like ‘Men are retarded’ or ‘Children are psychopaths’. There certainly are retarded men and psychopathic children but these are rare exceptions, are extreme cases.
Ergo… There is no general female Hörigkeit, so there is nothing to admit. The same goes for submissiveness, if that’s what you meant.
I think it ‘would be better’ if anybody would just admit who they are, whatever that might be, and live by it. So if you are a submissive, it would be a good idea not to deny it. Same for dominance. And if you happen to be someone who is for whatever reason totally incapable of making own decisions and you need someone with total control over you, then yes, it would be best to admit that and make an effort to find a suitable partner because otherwise you could never be happy.
But nobody is in general x (x being a placeholder for literally anything you can think of, except ‘human’, and what being human necessarily, by nature entails like carbon based life form, alive or dead etc.)
(From here on not directly referring to the Ask, or its author, anymore, but meant as a general comment.)
This kind of mindset is a good example for what I was recently writing about mental patterns and how difficult it is for humans to mentally handle a large number of them. If we would see every person as an individual we would need 7.5 billion different mental boxes, for the human species alone. That’s impossible for us to process, so we reduce it to whatever number we, each of us individually, are capable of processing. On the lowest level that means forming dualisms, which we humans especially like, for their simplicity. Good and evil/friend and foe, body and mind, male and female, heaven and earth in old times. Or in this context, dominant and submissive, master and slave, superior and inferior. To just say all men are masters, all women are hörig to them (or should be) is the easiest way to free yourself from the burden of a free mind, from the necessity to observe, communicate, analyze. If everything is already set in one’s mind there’s no reason anymore to do that. If one’s dual patterns are actually realistic or accurate or not is irrelevant here.
I get it, that people like to do it anyway, it makes the world and life simple, it simplifies something too complex for us to figure out really. But is this the goal - to restrict your view, to limit your world so much, that you can physically touch its walls, metaphorically speaking? Sounds horrible to me, like a prison. But well, all people are different, some need tiny confined spaces to feel safe. I really get it, believe me, I just wouldn’t want to have this inside of my head.
DId he yet puinish you by bringing you to an orgasm?
No, He never used orgasms as a punishment. But this would be a pretty harsh punishment for me and my infractions so far were rather mild except for once (the gif). He always makes sure that the intensity of a punishment matches the cause for the punishment and I’m a 99% good girl.
It’s two different kinds of stimuli. Like noise doesn’t bother me, but light does (for my Master e.g. it’s the opposite, He likes it bright and sunny but is extremely sensitive to sound). Sexual stimulation bothers me much more, in terms of overstimulation, than pain. I have it with pain too, but not as bad.
What is your least preferred way of being brought to an orgasm?
My least preferred way to be brought to an orgasm is to be brought to an orgasm. To make it clear by an example: In one year I asked my Master exactly once for His permission for orgasms which was during my opiate detox because it helps against the symptoms. That was it.
I have a severe problem with overstimulation with some kinds of stimuli. Noise doesn’t bother me but light is really bad (normal daylight feels for me like for others staring into the sun) and also sexual stimulation is something I cannot handle very well. I like it to a certain point and find its effect (hormone release, muscle relaxation etc) quite useful in times of stress, insomnia or pain, but beyond this certain point, the actual orgasm, it’s just ‘too much’.
There I said it. Deal with it. I have always been a nerd. I grew up in the infancy of game consoles I had an Atari and logged some serious time jousting on giant ostriches, defended earth from space invaders and helped amphibians cross the street. It wasn’t, however, until Nintendo released the NES that I found my true passion for video games. It came in the form of RPGs specifically Final Fantasy. This little gem of a game took over my life. This 8-bit master work consumed hours of my time and established some basic tenants that I would draw on many years later as I found myself entering the world of BD/sM and in my personal journey as a dominant.
That’s right; I learned domination from a video game.
Final Fantasy established the model of many RPGs that would follow. You begin the game by selecting a generic character type. Each of them has their strengths and weaknesses. I won’t bore you with the details of each type but suffice it to say that what basic type you choose will drastically affect the way to play the rest of the game. Some characters are easier to play at first others are much harder at the beginning but grow very powerful as they evolve.
Lesson #1 Know who you are, what your strengths and weaknesses are and who you want to become.
The second thing you learn right away when playing RPGs is that you know nothing. Now you can wander around pushing buttons until you figure it out or you can play the tutorials. I will admit that the wander option does eventually get you the answers but its longer and much more frustrating than taking the time watch the little 8-bit mage give you a text based lesson on how to use item’s, cast spells, buy things in shops ect… It takes a bit more time at first but it keeps you having to go back later and do it anyway because you encounter something you don’t know how to do.
Lesson#2 Find and use the resources available. Learn from people who know what they are doing.
Alright, you have your character; you know what all the buttons do. You have filled your inventory with all the items available to you at the time. Now what? Well the King has told you that bad guy (or whatever) has stolen/ killed/is plotting to… well you get the picture. A hero is needed and you are it. You however are not much of a hero. You find this out the second you step out of the castle and get your ass handed to you by a group imps that look like they belong on a deck of cards. You need to get stronger. In the world of video games this means you need to LEVEL UP. To level up you need EXP (experience) and to gain experience you need GRIND. Essentially what this means is you need to go out and battle until you can’t anymore and then rest up heal and go back out and do it again until the monsters in the area you are in become so easy you need to move on to bigger and better monsters. Now you don’t just do this to do this. You do this because you need to be good enough to take on the next mission which will get you that much closer to reaching your ultimate goal. As you move on you will progress through the story till hit a wall. The monsters are too hard to get past and you will need to go back and train more to Level up before you move on. This is how the game is played.
Lesson #3 Don’t rush in before you’re ready. People get hurt. Lesson #4 Mastering skills takes time patience and repetition. Yes it’s boring but it’s necessary. Lesson #5 You’re never done learning and growing.
Now, you have all the best equipment you have leveled up your team of heroes and mastered your skills. Things that challenged you to no end in the beginning are now cake walks that you pass right over. It is time to storm the enemy stronghold and defeat the final BOSS. Guess what? It’s still fucking difficult. You will still have to carefully stock your resources, manage your health make good choices and that last battle will be long and grueling. You might fail over and over until you finally defeat it and get to the credits.
Lesson# 6 It’s never going to be easy. It’s not meant to be. It wouldn’t be fun. It wouldn’t be rewarding if it was.
Then when it’s all said and done it asks, do you want to continue? Do you want to go back into the world and pick up all the side quests you missed explore areas you passed by on your way? The answer my friend for me, is always a resounding YES.
As a submissive and a gamer, with a nerdy Master who probably spent more than half of His time awake during adolescence playing video games, especially RPGs, of course I absolutely love this analogy 💜 And it’s so fitting too, good advice.
I definitely need more of these kinds of posts on my dash. - @followers Any recommendations for nerdy kink blogs?
Also: Reading this reminded me of my secondary game love, after KF2 (and L4D2), which is Skyrim (and similar games) and has been awfully neglected by me during the last year. But I don’t have time anymore to extensively play two games and serve my Master properly. Thanks @1-sadistic-lover for this new dilemma 😭 (I don’t mean a dilemma between gaming and serving but between two games).
Random thoughts: You know the so called honeymoon phase, right? These first few months of a relationship when everything is new and exciting and you can’t keep your eyes and hands off each other and talk a lot to find out everything about the other and the world is just perfect and life is good… After a year and getting married and everything we’ve been through it’s still not fading and I have this wonderful feeling, that it never will. We learned a lot about each other and we still talk about everything, can’t get enough of each other, and aren’t less excited about what we have than in the beginning. It’s even getting better over time.
@keepingher - I don’t love You the same anymore as last year, but so much more. And the more I learn about You the more I want to know about You. And the closer we grow together the happier I become. I hope this will never end ♥️
At the moment I can’t sleep in His arm because I have a back problem and my spine has to be perfectly straight at night or I wake up in pain. But we still need physical contact, it just feels wrong without it. So we are lying next to each other holding hands. And sometimes when I accidentally move away from Him He reaches out for me in His sleep. And I’m sure I do the same. We are both so needy for closeness and I love that ♥️
Is the cat joining you in your new life together in Germany? Or will you get a new cat?
A cat is a family member, we would never abandon her, when moving, no matter how far away.
She’ll have her rabies shot tomorrow and will be leaving with us in a month. Unfortunately she cannot live with us right away because we currently have a two room apartment in the middle of the city and for a farm cat of course that wouldnt work to be locked in such a ‘confined space’ with nothing to hunt, no fences to climb or dirt to roll in 🙄 So she’ll be staying at either my mom’s or dad’s place until we find a place where she can go outside.
With any other cat I would be worried for cats normally don’t like it to move and Sascha already lived here first, then in Vancouver for the 9 months my Master was with me in Germany, then back here the last half year, then she will be with my parents and then finally with us again. Every normal cat would probably go crazy. But she’s a total weirdo cat, in many ways, and it doesn’t seem to bother her at all as long as, no matter where she is, there’s always a nice human around to be close to, but not too close (2 meters is the perfect radius for her it seems). And my parents are both nice people who have experience with cats and will care well for her, so she will be fine.
How many slavedoms did you have before your husband?
I had a 2.5 year M/s relationship with a very sadistic, very loving and caring Dom before, but He didn’t have his own life in order due to mental health issues so in the end there was no way to make it work to (‘really’) take charge of someone like me.
Before that I had a long term hate-love relationship with a not sadistic but kinky, batshit crazy extreme egotist, divorced with two kids. So someone very dominant in the broader sense but not a ‘Dom’ by the common bdsm definition but rather the abusive type of dominant man.
Before that I had a 2 year very loving vanilla relationship with a brilliant archeology student, that made me almost happy but something essential was missing, naturally, for me as a submissive.
Before that I had my first relationship, semi-kinky, one year with someone who was just an asshole and later a stalker. So also a dominant person, but the irresponsible, childish, insecure and very selfish kind.
Another example for ‘Things that make me giggle’. @keepingher is right, when He tells me every day how easily amused I am (and how cute that would be), after my constant childish 'Tihihihihi’s because of birds running on fences (because running instead of flying), a furry caterpillar crawling over my hand (because furry and because suction cups) or the cat falling off the reiling (because… just lol). Yes, it’s true, it’s easy to make me happy.
Like right now… Birds synchronously swimming in circles, tihihihihi 🐱
I neither dislike nor like them. I don’t have a preference for certain kinds of restraints*, I just like it to serve Him and submit to Him.
*There’s one exception, one specific pair of cuffs that I especially like for ‘sensory’ reasons, they just ‘feel right’ around my wrists, in a way I’m not able to explain really. But that’s not a cuff or kink specific thing, I have it with other objects too that some things just are better or worse, or even right or wrong, in different shapes or materials, in a sensory kind of way, how they feel, sound etc. For example knitting needles need to be made of wood, I just cannot use them in plastic or metal, the sound and feel of them seriously disturbs my mind somehow, or food can’t have certain textures, things like this. These particular cuffs just have a 'feel’ that is 'right’ opposed to other cuffs that are just neutral.
How often are you punished while suspended like in that short Video?
I’m always restrained - in different ways, not always suspended - during punishments except for the classical ‘over the knee spankings’. I get punished whenever I break a rule or do something especially stupid which is both very rare.
How tightly does he secure you for sex? Ans does he always inflict you kinds of pain?
I’m restrained during sex when I’m wearing my chains, when He restrained me for sadistic reasons and we have sex afterwards or when He just feels like it. But I’m not generally getting restrained for sex as a matter of principle.
What are the service routines you have to do to daily serve your master? Sexual and non sexual ones?
We have no sexual routines, we have sex whenever my Master wants it. But mostly that’s either after He woke up, before we go to bed or when He’s in a sadistic mood (because me in pain makes Him hard of course), which could be at any time. So yea, basically at any time potentially in general, no routine.
We don’t have any other kink related routines either. That happens spontaneously depending on His mood.
We are both big fans of daily life routines though. I start every day with making tea for Him and coffee for me, and then I feed the cat and make breakfast. We have breakfast, lunch, dinner every day, at the same time whenever possible, we never skip a meal. I always take a short nap at noon, He after work (we get up very early). We always get up and go to bed with the daylight, except in the winter when the days are too short. I do all the household chores while He is working, except the noisy things like vacuuming. We cuddle on the couch and watch a movie in the evening after dinner or sit on the deck. We always say ‘Good morning/night Master/Dovey’. We always play Killing Floor 2 in the afternoons when there’s free time. We have a German lesson every other day in the afternoon after work. We always do the more time/work intensive things that need to be done on the weekends, together whenever possible. We always go shopping for groceries or do other things in town together, I always drive. We always have a Whiskey (He) and Bailey’s (I) or beer (both) on the deck in the evenings on the weekends and watch the colorful sky when the sun starts to set. - These kinds of things.
Our daily life is almost exactly the same, every single day, and that’s great. All the kinky and sexual stuff are spontaneous and that’s also great. Perfect combination!
So, my ‘service’ to Him is partly routine and partly ad hoc, both, depending on what service we’re talking about.
As a sidenote… Once we’re in Germany we have to establish a new routine since, due to the time difference, His work schedule will change. I absolutely hate that!! (I’m very sensitive to routine changes.)
Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge.
Carl Gustav Jung
This is not (exclusively) some random phrase that people like to use to complain about (other’s) ignorance and/or intolerance but actually true - well, almost, “…that’s why people mostly judge” would be correct, since there aren’t any people who never judge but many who spend more time judging than thinking (i.e. in this context ‘consciously analyzing’), but anyway, what I’m getting at: What’s behind this statement is quite interesting…
[Warning: Lengthy, overexplainy, sciency, schoolmasterly, rather unorganized lecture ahead.]
Starting at the very beginning of this extensive train of thoughts: You may remember something called the principle of minimum energy from chemistry or physics class in school. That was this thing - I’m very much simplifying now - with electrons always occupying the innermost possible shell around their nucleus, with molecules being less/more stable with a not-/fully occupied shell, with chemical reactions happening because of exactly this mechanism and so on. So that’s because electrons always need to be on the lowest energy level possible. And that applies to all closed systems, which humans are too.
[Note: Borders between real science and psychology starting to blur from here on (no offence to psychologists, I like you too.)]
Our brain consumes the lion’s share of the energy we provide our body with, because thinking is extremely resource intensive. In fact so much, that we literally couldn’t eat enough to generate the amount of energy needed if we had to consciously think about everything we’re doing and perceiving. So we don’t. Instead our brain automatizes everything that makes even remotely sense to automatize, in order to save energy. Now how does it do that? (There’s a biological/medical answer to this question too, but for our purposes here, understanding why people rather judge than think, I switch to a psychological cognitive framework now) By detecting (stimulus-)patterns and forming (reaction-)routines.
Instead of conducting an extensive, complete analysis of every single stimulus (perception) that it detects, the brain simply checks if a stimulus falls in a pattern it already knows and if so starts the associated routine (that’s btw why humans are so good at pattern-recognition, it’s a necessity (in order) to save energy ~ to survive, simple evolution). These internal patterns are formed basically the same way an AI would do it, by analyzing a big enough amount of data for similarities. This thing there is solid, it can move, it has fur, four legs, it barks etc, and they call it a dog. This other thing is also solid, can move, has fur, four legs, it barks etc, and they also call it a dog. This third thing is also solid etc and they also say it’s a dog. Tada, a pattern, furry barking things on four legs are dogs (that’s btw also how children learn how language works, by categorizing, that’s an interesting linguistic field, early on children may think e.g. that cats are called dogs because someone pointed on an animal with fur and four legs and told them it’s a dog so the next time they see an animal with fur and four legs they put it in the same category until they learned about more/enough characteristics of that category like barks vs meows etc… Anyways…patterns, you get the idea). Now a little more complex: The media says immigrants are a threat. My dad says immigrants cost citizens jobs. And the tax payers money. I know an immigrant with a job, but I want that job. I once saw an immigrant being an asshole. A pattern, immigrants are bad. Which internal patterns form, naturally depends on what data is available to you. If you would read every day about immigrants being selfless and hard workers and experience them as nice people often enough, you’d have a different pattern in your mind. So that’s how patterns are built. Once a pattern is established we automatically check every stimulus for similarities with this pattern, and all other patterns we found so far, and put it in the according mental box.
That’s nothing negative for itself, but in fact crucially important to make sense of the world around us. Not only are we lacking the energy but also the mental/neurological capacity to analyze everything around us separately, dissociated from all other things (this would theoretically be the definition of ‘objectivity’ btw, dissociated from the subjective self means dissociated from all patterns since they only exist in our heads and that’s what would make it ‘objective’). We have to cognitively merge things similar enough into ‘one thing’ because we would lose track of a virtually infinite number of boxes (individuality), so we reduce this to a number we can mentally handle (which is in my opinion btw one of the major characteristics of intelligence, the number of boxes one can mentally handle - if you think this through most of the commonly described aspects of intelligence can be traced back to this one).
Now ‘judging’ is, depending on how you want to define it, how far you want to go in differentiating, either exactly this, ‘boxing’, or an extension of it. For example when Trump says immigrants are bad you could call it a judgement, but (I speculate) for him it isn’t a judgement but a simple fact. Because immigrants fit into his mental pattern of people who are bad like barking furry things fit into his pattern of dogs. It’s technically only a judgement from the perspective of people with a different pattern, meaning with a ‘people who are bad’-pattern that has different defining characteristics. Consequentially, judging in the strictest sense of the word is this: Assuming characteristics to make someone or something fit into one of your patterns instead of taking the time and making the effort to determine enough defining characteristics (by detailed examination, in case of other humans observing and talking to them) to find the actually suitable box for them/it. And why do people do that? Principle of minimum energy. Taking time costs energy, making an effort takes energy, questioning or even readjusting your patterns costs energy, inconvenience costs energy, thinking costs energy. Boxing is the most efficient, energy saving way to deal with everything. (Most) humans are so simple creatures… (Not you, my readers, you are all great! And also not me, I’m the exception for everything. And also not my Master, He is just perfect. But everybody else sucks because of simple-mindedness.)
Conclusion: How the world appears to us is a result of our mental patterns and as human beings we are, by nature, driven to ‘making things fit into it’ no matter how, and thereby extremely prone to missing things that don’t fit. Our brain can be downright blind sometimes for characteristics that don’t match our expectations and everything too unique, or ‘unboxable’, can easily scare us. Question your patterns, take the time to examine something carefully before boxing it. This will open up a literal whole new world. But be warned, it will not make your life easier.
1.) This text is a very much simplified representation of theoretical constructs that are actually more complex. So there are necessary imprecisions, maybe even some inconsistencies, for the sake of readability, ironically.
2.) This text is a very much simplified representation of the ‘text’ in my head due to language limitations. Since english is not my native language I’m unfortunately not able to express everything as precise and elaborate and beautiful as I would want to. Also since language in general cannot mirror thoughts, I can only give you an approximation to the real thing.
3.) I don’t know if or say that C.G. Jung had these things in mind when making this statement, maybe he was referring to something else or nothing at all. It’s just my personal thoughts about it.
4.) Nobody wants to read 1477 words about random psychological stuff on a kink blog? I happened to stumble across this quote on my dash and I was bored, that’s why. Shut up.
5.) I’m neither a physicist nor a chemist, neuro- or evolutionary biologist or psychologist, I spent half of my adulthood at different universities studying different things but I didn’t graduate in anything and I’m an expert in nothing but only someone who spits the principle of minimum energy in its face by refusing to stop analyzing potentially everything (which would technically make me an alien but whatever). That implies I could be wrong. So this is more of a ‘commentary’ kind of post than a scientific article that claims completeness or correctness. If the real scientists, or psychologists (no offence), here find something wrong about it, feel free to correct me. Or anybody can just tell me their different perspectives or opinions. I actually like to challenge my patterns.
THE END /// (This is an ‘insider’ between my Master and me, you can safely ignore this last paragraph without missing anything that would concern you.) - THE END THE END THE END.