December 2017

Happy New Year, Tumblr!

Daily choking picture #99

(I didn’t have time to answer Asks the last days but I’ll catch up on that tomorrow. Just to let you know, I’m not suddenly ignoring Asks.)

Finally weekend.

Two full days for us to do whatever we…He wants 🖤

Beat me.

Daily choking picture #98

Play with me.

keptmathilda:

*sitting at Master’s feet and watching Him file the edges of my locks (the ones that lock my cuffs and shackles and hold the chains between them) so that they don’t dig into my arms and legs at night… He is busy doing that for more than an hour now while I just enjoy having my arms wrapped around His leg and admire Him for taking such good care of me.

I’m definitely the luckiest and happiest slave on this planet!

Deja vu…

(In reference to the last post)

Lying in my new little bed at my Master’s feet and watching Him filing the edges of my collar. This is the first time my collar came off since He locked it on me a month ago and it feels weird, I miss the weight around my neck and I don’t really feel complete anymore without it. But it’s so lovely how He makes sure the edges don’t hurt my skin 🖤
I can’t wait until He’s finished and I finally have it back around my neck.

Beautiful new bed, enjoy. On an entirely different subject, is your mom a difficult person to please? What zodiac sign is she?

Pisces.
Not in general I think. We are just very different, her priorities in life are very different from my priorities in life. That’s why she is unhappy with how I live my life and I’m not able to be the daughter she wishes to have.

Thank you. I enjoy it very much.

Hi. This is a completely abstract philosophical question: you can have only one master at a time, correct? So why would you mind if lonely subs would benefit from having their own Karls to themselves? Think about how sad and lonely you were before you met him. Think about the other needy, dependent girls out there. If in theory it was possible, wouldn't it be fantastic if he could be cloned? You will not have anything less of him. Why not allow other girls have perfect masters like him? I wish.

Reference

Of course, I think, nobody would like the thought of artificially creating an identical copy of the person you love and ‘give’ this copy to another person for a relationship - I’m really astound that you (anybody) don’t seem to share this opinion. If you love someone you are (normally, there are exceptions) naturally possessive of this person, you don’t want to share your love with others. What you describe is a form of sharing your love with another woman, an alternative sort of sharing but still a sort of sharing. I would never share my Master with another woman, I couldn’t stand that, it would make me extremely unhappy.

That’s the first point. But it’s irrelevant, because of the second:

You don’t seem to understand how relationships work, human beings, interpersonal relations…

He is objectively not ‘perfect’. He is a human being with shortcomings, flaws, negative and annoying sides and traits, who makes mistakes and stupid things sometimes like all other people on this planet. 

He is perfect for me. Because we have many things in common. Because our characters complement each other astonishingly well. Because He likes and loves the things about me that make me who I am and I like and love the things about Him that make Him who He is. Because what I have to offer is what He needs and wants and what He has to offer is what I need and want. Because we are sexually a perfect match, because we have the same limits, preferences, aversions. Because there is something between us that can’t be described with words, something that just makes us feel so comfortable in each other’s presence. Because we are on a similar intellectual level, have similar interest, similar preferences in music and movies and many other things. Because my physical appearance is appealing to Him and His to me. Because everything that makes me me, my genes, my experiences, my dreams, make me a person whom He finds interesting, whom He likes spending time with, whom He feels comfortable around, whom He fell in love with. And everything that makes Him Him makes Him a person towards whom I have the same feelings. He is perfect for me. He matches me.

This doesn’t mean He would work with some other person. You can’t just take a happy couple and assume that he is happy with her or she is happy with him makes him or her in general someone who works well in relationships with everyone. That’s not how it works. Nobody is -generally- a good partner or Master. Who is a good partner or Master to someone is completely individual. What applies to one person or couple does not necessarily apply to somebody else.

Yes, He is a wonderful person and has the right character traits a good Master needs. He is caring, responsible, intelligent, independent, disciplined, compassionate etc. That’s the basis. Without this somebody can’t be a good Master. But if a person like this can be a good Master to -you- is a completely different thing. If your characters and dreams and intellect and preferences etc. don’t match, it won’t work, no matter how ‘perfect’ somebody in general is.

So there is no point in cloning my Master or anybody for somebody else, it just doesn’t make sense. It’s not more or less likely that this clone would be a match for you than that your neighbour or colleague would be. It just doesn’t work like this. 

You have to go out into the world and find your match. You have to search and do something for it, take risks, dare to step out of your comfort zone, become active. You can’t just create your personal perfect master. Go and look for him.

Your favorite pet.

Would you ever consider taking a submissive with a mental illness/have you ever in the past? How would you/how have you approached it in your rules or care for her? Sorry for the long question.

keepingher:

Just so you know, I’m not singling you out with this; I just want to rant a bit.

It seems that there’s an idea floating around about a “perfect” D/s relationship. An idea that if you could just embody this particular list of traits and abilities, you’ll do okay. And if not, well, you’re at a disadvantage (if you’ll ever find someone at all). Of course the ironic part is that, even though so many seem to believe in this ideal, nobody can quite say what the actual list entails.

When I deal with a submissive, I’m dealing with a person. She’s going to have issues, because all submissives do. She’s going to fuck things up, she’s going to have anxiety, she’s going to have phobias, things she’s absolutely terrible at, demons & regrets, a less than stellar past, worries and melt downs, and we’re only just getting started. She may have other complications, like epilepsy or cancer or poor circulation or deaf-mute or schizophrenia or a heart condition or depression or any myriad possibility. It’s called being human.

When you look online at all these pictures of perfect BDSM scenes and perfect stories and perfect anecdotes and perfect love letters between sub and dom, there’s a BIG part of a dominant’s role that is too often overlooked: Care.

Care means a lot of things. It means actually giving a damn what happens to her. It means wanting her to live a good life. It means supporting her where she’s weak. It means being there for her when she breaks down. It means taking time out to tell her you love her. It means understanding her limits and approaching them with compassion. And I’m not talking BDSM oriented limits; I’m talking about her limits in life. I’m talking about illness or injury or depressive episodes or even just a bad day and feeling overwhelmed.

We’re all human, and our needs are all unique. When I take a submissive, I may be in charge, but we’re still in this together. The rules I lay down are specific to HER. The training I do is specific to HER. There is no One True Way™ that I just bend her into. It’s a dance. It’s life. Life is messy and exciting and even bizarre sometimes, yet it always finds a way to go outside of your expectations. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Of all the seventhousandsomething posts on His blog this has always been my favorite. It was the first post by Him I read, as a reblog or like on another blog, and I remember thinking that whoever wrote this would make a wonderful master.

Now, only a little over half a year later, this ‘whoever’ is my 'wonderful Master’ and I experience first-hand, that these weren’t just empty words, He really is this committed, this loving and caring about the girl He loves. And I’m so eternally grateful that I am this girl.

Thank You for everything, Sir. If You let me, I will spend the rest of my life doing everything in my power to make You happy - this is a promise.

What if you told your mom you are the happiest you have ever been because he makes you feel happy and therefore you are no longer drug addict? Surely that will make her fond of him. As for her suspicion of why he picked you, you could tell her you resemble a girl he used to love long ago but married someone else. While this is not entirely true, your man did dream of you before he even knew you existed. Look up the song "I Knew I Loved You Before I Met you". Tell her it was love at 1st sight.

To tell her, He loves me because I’m a copy of another girl He didn’t get would rather make her hate Him even more…. naturally, everyone would see this as something negative I think.

But for the rest… Yes, of course I will tell her how happy I am and this will eventually be what will make her at least accept Him. But she won’t believe something only because I tell her. I told her I was happy with every other partner I had too and some of them were assholes. She will have to witness herself that I am happy, will have to get to know Him well enough to see what a good man He is, will have to experience us together so she sees with her own eyes what influence He has on me. And she will have to notice how my life changes over time with Him by my side, but that’s - all of this - is something that takes time.

In the end she will see I’m happy and that He changes me and my life in a positive way and this will make her respect and maybe even like Him. But until then she will be unhappy with Him as my partner. That’s just something we have to live with until it’s over.

Dovey’s new bed

keepingher:

Dovey’s bed finally arrived! I was starting to get annoyed because it was supposed to be at my door last week, but things move slowly here.

Worth the wait, though <3

Now I can finally lie at His feet without having a back pain afterwards.

I love my new bed! Thank You for caring so well for me, Sir! 🖤

what do you call your Master? Master, Sir, Karl? Just curious, thank you!

I refer to Him as ‘my Master’ but I address Him as ‘Sir’ for the time being.

Maybe we change that to Master at some point in the future, because Sir is a title others use for Him too - for example in every second Ask here - and the title I use for Him should be unique, so maybe we change it when all the chaos is over and we have finally all the other rules and routines in place too. At the moment we are generally living rather low-protocol. (Even though I would prefer to stay with Sir but be the only one to call Him that… but we will see..)

On the rare occasions when other people are present whom we feel the necessity to hide the nature of our relationship from, I call Him by His name if there is no other way, but I try to avoid this as much as possible because it feels extremely weird for me to call Him ‘Karl’, it doesn’t feel right and I feel uncomfortable addressing Him by using His name.

He looks so serious playing the guitar. Very handsome. Which songs he sings to you?

Reference

He looks so serious because He is concentrating. He is constantly working on improving and practices new, challenging musical pieces to get better.

What He sings for me is private (:

It it were possible to clone you, would you agree?

keepingher:

Nope. There’s enough competition as it is!

And I would attack everyone who would attempt such a blasphemous thing. Mine mine mine mine mine!


Follow-up Ask

What kind of pervert am I? Want to be raped by only by a loving master. Want to lay there like a corps. It doesn't necessarily have to hurt but I want to feel and know I have no choice in the matter. I only want one man to do it and only to me: total monogamy. This is the only way I can feel fulfilled in sex. I like the lack of responsibility.

keepingher:

The desire for passivity is more common than people let on. Dovey is passive in sex, not wanting the responsibility of performing, and I like a girl who is passive in sex and only does what I tell her to do, which is usually to present a hole for me to fuck if I’m not beating her at the time. But that’s somehow “wrong” because she’s boring and I’m selfish. I’m fulfilled in using, and she’s fulfilled in being of use.

Not a pervert, that’s pretty normal among submissives.

This is also in my opinion one of the most annoying things that (the sexually passive kind of) submissives have to go through during, at least, the first years of exploring sexuality and until they found out what they need/want and someone who matches them. The ‘performing’. That you’re the passive character means you don’t want to perform and that you’re the submissive character means you want to do whatever turns your counterpart on/makes him come and that’s in most cases not 'just doing nothing’ because that’s 'boring’, but being active because that’s 'fun’. So you spend years doing the opposite of what you need. Yay. I’m sure every passive submissive knows what I’m talking about.

I’m happy my Master and me are such a perfect match. Yes, I am fulfilled in being of use and 'presenting a hole for Him to fuck’ - I like that very much; and not only because it pleases Him, even though that’s always my main motivation for everything I’m doing or not doing in sex, but in fact it really does turn me on, to just be 'selfishly’ used 🖤

(Btw…And that’s completely irrelevant and only my autistic side coming through, if you’re with a 'loving Master’ plus you’re a submissive you’re rather unlikely to be 'raped’ by him because you will want to do whatever makes him happy which disqualifies rape. I honestly can’t imagine a single possible situation in which my Master could 'rape’ me since this would imply that I don’t want Him to fuck me at this time and as long as He is a 'loving’ Master I will automatically want what He wants, at least indirectly.)

keepingher:

Goodnight, Tumblr.

Guten Morgen, Tumblr! / Good morning, Tumblr!

🖤🖤🖤

Sitting at my Master’s feet while He is playing the guitar for me is one of the most wonderful things in the world. - Recently He even started singing for me while playing and His voice is so beautiful. No doubt… I’m the luckiest slave in the world 😻
I love You so much, Sir. You make me happy every day, with everything You’re doing. You’re a wonderful Owner.

(How could I not be willing to happily suffer for and serve this man and do everything He wants?!)

How do you take showers with your chains? Do you shave your legs and if so how can you shave them if the legs too are in chains?

The chains are long enough to take a shower in them, see here. Shaving is possible too (and yes, I do shave my legs and everything else south of my neck). Taking a shower is just a little uncomfortable in chains and takes more time, but there’s nothing (regarding showering/personal hygiene in general) I couldn’t do properly at all with chains on.

keepingher:

keptmathilda:

Gute Nacht, Tumblr! / Good night Tumblr!

Even in my sleep I’m under Your control. - I love it to sleep in Your chains.

She’s never been out of my chains since I got an apartment.

Her collar hasn’t been removed since I locked it on last month.

He means this literally, the chains never come off, not even when I leave the apartment. Of course outside they are not linked to both the cuffs/shackles, they are wrapped around my wrist/ankle instead, but I wear them all the time.

Would you share a dark thought, any dark thought, so I can see if our anxiety/depression are alike?

Nope. That’s a very private part of me which I’d only share with one person, if at all.

@keepingher (:

Lead me.

Gute Nacht, Tumblr! / Good night Tumblr!

Even in my sleep I’m under Your control. - I love it to sleep in Your chains.

I light Your way.

My body is Your playground.

Your favorite pet.

In Your chains at Your feet - My safe place.

I suffer for You.

Daily choking picture #98

I love it to feel You in my mouth, to taste You, to swallow You. Please use me - @keepingher

Helpless. - Yours to play with.

Beautiful bruises.

@keepingher

Lead the way… I follow You everywhere.

▸ I’ve got Your back for I am always close behind You.

toy-holes:

It’s not a specific thing I want you to do to me. It’s that I crave being vulnerable to you. I want to be at your mercy and in your care.

Like… The strength of my will is a precipice. I step off, let go, and I am in free fall. Everything after this is you, your will, like the air wrapping itself around me, claiming me.

This!

______________

‘At Your mercy and in Your care…

I let go and everything after this is You’

@keepingher - I did let go. Everything is You.

My place is at Your feet.

Do you think you and your man will be together forever? Forever in our human terms...until death does us part kind of way.

If I wouldn’t be willing to spend the rest of my life with Him and wouldn’t think that this is what will happen I wouldn’t be with Him. When I think about the future I see Him and me together and nothing else.

Just something that I noticed: you keep writing you are mentally ill but you sound very reasonable and in charge. Is it possible you have been cured by the power of love?

No, that’s not possible. That my cognitive functions work close to maximum efficiency doesn’t mean that my emotional reactions/processes couldn’t be completely out of balance, that I couldn’t feel terrible, at the same time. You have no idea what’s going on in my head….

A depression is not (necessarily) only a psychological matter, in fact most times it isn’t. A so called clinical depression is an imbalance in someone’s brain chemistry, the brain is not able to produce certain neurotransmitters, dopamin, serotonin etc, on its own anymore. That’s why anti-depressants ~ providing the brain artificially with those agents work in most cases. A relationship can’t just change that.

I still have a depression, I’m still utterly depressed sometimes, there are still dark, dark things going on in my mind you don’t want to know about, I still feel like a crazy person… but living in a stable environment, feeling loved and cared for, feeling safe, having someone help me when I’m down etc makes it so much easier to deal with these things. I can laugh again, I have times when I feel very happy and, and that’s the most wonderful aspect of all, when I think about my future I don’t think anymore ‘I hope I just die soon’ but ‘I hope I live long to have as much time with Him as possible’. That’s in fact the biggest change since I am with Him… before I couldn’t wait to finally die, now I’m scared I die too early and don’t have time to live this new life with Him.

Could you survive without him being physically by your side for more than a day? I'm a sub too but unlike you 1) cannot defend myself 2) cannot be on my own for long or even shorter periods of time.

‘Survive’ like in ‘not die / continue to keep up my vital functions like heartbeat and breathing’ ? Yes, I certainly could. ‘Survive’ like in ‘continue to live a normal life / a life like I live it when my Master is present / be happy’? No, definitely not. 

I’ve grown too dependant on Him to be able to be happy without Him anymore. Many people might find this a negative, a sad thing for everyone should be able to generate happiness out of oneself or on one’s own, but I don’t share this opinion. I feel lost without Him, my happiness depends on Him/His’ and so does my ability to do something meaningful with myself or my life. I’m depressed without Him, I need His presence to feel safe - I don’t mean physically safe, even though I feel much saf/er/ when He is with me, but a mental, psychological state of mind, an abstract feeling of safety in comparison to a constant irrational anxiety -, to be calm, to not be depressed all the time – and I don’t consider this to be something negative. It means that I have a deep, a -deep-, a very deep NEED for Him and as long as we are together, that’s a wonderful thing. It only causes problems if we would be separated from each other, because it would make me feel deeply lost. But I would -survive- it, yes.

If you told your mother the truth about the nature of your relationship with your man, would she freak out? I have always believed honesty is the best policy. If this is something she cannot handle then maybe she really does not belong in your new life with your master? Would you be willing not to ever see her again if that was necessary? I know I would.

Yes, in general, honesty is definitely the best policy. That’s exactly why she knows all these things about me, that I’m fighting an addiction, that I lost my home, that I have a depression and so on despite this causing a lot of trouble in my relationship with her. But I told her, exactly because honesty is generally the best policy.

But there is one exception in my opinion. If the suffering honesty causes heavily outweighs the positive effects honesty has. In this case it’s acceptable to just say nothing. And this is such a case. Yes, she would ‘freak out’, meaning she would consider my need to be a slave some sort of terrible mental illness, maybe a coping mechanism for a trauma, a result of negative influences in my past or something like this. And she wouldn’t be able to believe that I am really happy like this, she would think that I delude myself and deep within suffer awfully under this ‘oppression’. And since she is my mother and I spent my whole childhood and most of my teenager time with her as a single parent, she would feel guilty and think it is her fault that I am like this and it would make her depressed and sick to ‘know’, what she thinks to know, that I’m not living a happy life. I know that she would feel guilty, because she already thinks like this about all my other problems, depression, addiction etc, and she suffers horribly from this ‘guilt’ she feels. If I would add this on top of it, she would feel even more horrible. Of course there is no reason for her to feel like this, but I can’t change it, it’s just how it is, how she is. Sometimes you just have to protect people from something by not being completely honest about everything. That’s life, it’s not only black and white, it’s complex, sometimes there are no easy solutions.


That a mother is not able to understand or accept that her daughter needs a life as a slave is in absolutely no way a reason to not let her be part of ones life! I find this idea shocking. You seem to be the anon with the terrible mother, which would explain how you can think like this. I don’t mean this judgemental in any way, I am very sorry for you, that you didn’t experience how it is to have a mother who loves you and I can see how one can have such thoughts with a past of abuse caused by one’s mother. But… just believe me, it’s a fact… if you have a mother who loves you, you would never even think about cutting her off only because she couldn’t accept this lifestyle.


Necessary? For what? If it would be necessary to save her life, because my presence poses a danger to her, I would. If it would make her happier to never see me again I would. For no other reason. - But this question is irrelevant because there is absolutely nothing that would even only in theory make it ‘necessary’ for me to not see my mother again. I think what you’re getting at is something like ‘Who is more important for you, your Master or your mother?!’ and the answer is that both are equally important, each in their own different way. And that I would never be with a man who would want me to kick my mother out of my life, because someone who would want that can only be a (negative kind of) character I would never fall in love with, so I would never be in a situation where I had to choose.

Maybe you can tell you mother that he is the love of your life and you are his. If she asks more specifically you can tell her you both believe in a concept called "total love" which means the ultimate kind of loyalty and also spending 24/7 and that most men and women your age are interested in shallow stuff like parties etc and not a meaningful everlasting relationship. You can tell her that your man has been in disappointing relationships (not a lie!) and decided to try a new continent.

Another anon Ask, which I put in the same post because it’s about exactly the same subject, so I don’t have to write the same things twice:

Anonymous said: Hello. There is a way to tell your mother without really telling her. She does not need to know the intimate details about your sexual life to convey the message to her that you two are in love with one another because you have a lot in common. You can tell her that he sees something in you he never did in other girls and the fact you are German and he is Canadian did not scare him from wanting to be with you. It’s not that unusual that people from different countries meet fall in love and move.

________________________

Reference

In general that’s of course the explanation I offer her. That it all started online - which for itself is credible because she knows that my last two relationships also started online - and somehow happened to fall so hopelessly in love that of course we wanted to be together, so that He decided to move here since He has a job He can do from remote and likes to explore new countries and cultures - which is also credible since He already did this before when He lived in Japan for a five years. A burning desire and undying love is the only reasonable explanation we can give her that can explain why someone would put up with such huge obstacles for another person.

But still… I do understand that it is not enough of an explanation for her / that she still thinks that there must be more behind this lovestory. Because she is absolutely right. It just IS, matter-of-factly, extremely unlikely and strange, that a man like my Master, a mentally perfectly stable, good-looking, financially well off, (from an outside point of view) perfectly normal, average person, who just recently settled and bought a beautiful house in Canada suddenly changes His complete life and moves to the other side of the planet to be with a woman like me, a homeless, criminal, flat broke, unemployed, mentally and physically ill junkie and ex-prostitute. She is right, this IS -very- strange and unlikely to happen.

Yes, people from different continents do fall in love occasionally and then one moves to the other. And yes, sometimes a person with a good normal job falls in love with a criminal prostitute. And yes, sometimes a mentally stable person is willing to give it a try with a mentally unstable person despite the certain problems that come with this combination. And yes, sometimes people are willing to change their whole life for another person. And leave their family thousands of miles behind. And move into a 2-room-apartment, despite they bought a house a year ago. And so on….- But ALL of this AT ONCE?! Not impossible of course but so unlikely that it’s only natural for people to assume there must be more behind this than a normal love story.

No matter what we tell her… She won’t believe that we tell her everything and I can’t blame her for that because it is understandable.. and the truth. 

Did any of your former masters give you "pocket money" or any kind of weekly/monthly allowance so you can get what you like or save money? When the relationship with each of them just started, did you hope it would last forever?

I take relationships generally very seriously, I’m not and never was a ‘relationship-hopper’ (even my very first relationship when I was only 14 years old lasted over a year already). Of course I’m realistic enough to know, that under normal circumstances it is more likely that a relationship will not last forever than that it does, but I do not start a relationship with someone if I’m not willing to spend the rest of my life with this person and/or if I already know or consider it above average likely that it won’t last. So yes, when I started a relationship I always hoped that it will be my last one, meaning it will last forever.

In none of my previous relationships I gave someone control over my financial affairs. Before my current relationship I always earned my own money, so I didn’t need an allowance, and I had full control over it myself. This was not because I wouldn’t have wanted to surrender to my Master/Dom in every possible way (/to have a Master whom I could completely surrender to), but because the circumstances just didn’t allow to take this step. In order to hand your finances over to another person you need a Master who is very responsible regarding money plus if you stop earning money yourself one who earns enough to take care of both your expenses. As much as I loved and trusted (some of) my former partners, none of them was in my opinion a person capable to take on this responsibility and/or able to completely pay for all my costs. My present Master is the first one whom I submit to in literally every way / whom I give control over every aspect of my life without exceptions.

Could your relationship survive a separation of a whole year?

Yes, I think so, of course. If I had the impression that He is this kind of man who falls ‘out of love’ easily or starts being unfaithful because of an obstacle or inconvenience, I wouldn’t be with Him.

Yours.

Why would your mother not be happy for you? Why would she not be content with a man from Canada?

(I remember the Ask and my answer but I somehow don’t find this post where I wrote she doesn’t seem to be very happy about my new relationship. If someone happens to find/stumble upon it, send it to me in a PM please, so I can add a Reference-link here.)

________________________________

It’s not directly about Him being from Canada, she doesn’t have anything against Canadians - or foreigners in general… hm, well, the ‘western kind’ of foreigners at least -, it’s about the whole circumstances.

I think it’s quite understandable to some degree. She knows that I lost my apartment and health insurance last year, that I’m fighting an addiction, that I suffer from a depression for the last decade, that I quit my studies at the university, that I don’t have and never had a (normal) job (for long) etc - short, that I’m a wreck. She also knows (/thinks) that my new partner is a ‘normal’ guy, with a good job, His own house, healthy and mentally stable… - So of course she wonders why a man like Him would come all the way to Germany in order to be with a girl like me. As far as she is concerned, not knowing about our special, ‘uncommon’ needs, there are enough women in Canada He could choose from, women who have, from her point of view, much more to offer than I have… so why would He want me, even so much that He is willing to put up with all the trouble this journey causes Him?! 

She doesn’t know that what He needs is so rare to find, that in fact it does make sense to accept this trouble in order to get it - so naturally she wonders what’s behind all this, what His true, hidden motives are for coming to Germany and being with an unstable, broken creature like me. From her point of view that’s indeed something that doesn’t make sense and is extremely weird, so it’s understandable that she assumes that something must be wrong with this guy, she feels that there’s something fishy about this whole thing.

Even though we don’t have the best relationship, she still loves me and wants to protect me. She doesn’t know what it is, but she is sure, there’s more behind it than just the normal ‘boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy moves to girl’ thing - and she is right of course, there is more behind it, but nothing that I could tell her (me being a slave) so her imagination is going crazy about what His hidden agenda might be…

That’s (the main reason) why she is not very happy about my new relationship.

Merry Christmas!

What is the most attractive quality you love in your man? As someone who reads his and your blog, what I admire about him the most is his determination to get what he wants, what he believes in. It's his resilience and focus on what he holds dear. His courage and continuous energy to fight for his happiness, which means fighting for you. People love to read about it in books and watch romantic movies but fail to recognize it in real life. A real man like him doesn't let others decide for him.

keepingher:

keptmathilda:

What I love about my man?! This is going to be a loooooong post … (: (I couldn’t reduce it to one single quality I love the most, there are just too many that I equally love)


The points you mentioned are definitely qualities I admire about Him too.

But of course there is much more:

(in alphabetical order)

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✜ Communication

I love about Him, that He has a need for direct, open communication and that He has the ability and the will to communicate directly and openly what is important or relevant to communicate. If something I did bothers Him, if I made a mistake, if there is any kind of problem for Him, He doesn’t just get annoyed or angry but stays silent like so many men do it - which completely poisons the interpersonal atmosphere - but He comes and talks to me about it, instantly and in the most direct way*. He tells me what His problem is, we discuss and solve it. And after we did this, the subject is off the table, it’s over, there is no further discussion about it, no need for further discussion (because everything there is to discuss already has been discussed during the communication-process), and the situation has been resolved. Afterwards there are no negative feelings left, the harmony is restored.

(* I mean literally instantly, direct and open - best example for this just a few days ago. I woke up in the morning from a ‘Good morning Dovey’ and not a minute later, I didn’t even really open my eyes yet, He started telling me, that He didn’t like the tone of a text message I wrote Him during the night while He was sleeping. He read it in the morning, woke me up and instantly told me that He has a problem. - But He didn’t wake me up by telling me the problem, He woke me up by a lovely “Good morning Dovey” and then started to communicate His problem. I can’t imagine a better way to do it… well, maybe wait until after I had a coffee (: but in general it’s perfect like He did it, because He made sure, we didn’t start the day in a bad mood - His bad mood which I would have sensed and thereby gotten into a bad mood myself - but instead solved the situation first thing in the morning so we could start the day in harmony. And that’s exactly what it is about, this is the kind of communication, direct and instantly after the problem without delay, that preserves the harmony in a relationship.)

✜ Harmony

This relates to the paragraph above. I love it ( SO MUCH! - this really is an important point ) that He has a strong need for harmony. If we have an argument, He makes sure that we solve it. If there is a tense atmosphere between us He comes to me and hugs me or does something nice to resolve it. And He is not afraid or too proud to be the one who makes the first step.

This is especially important because I must admit, I have a problem to do that myself. I also have a very strong need for harmony, it bothers me extremely if there is any kind of disharmony between us, it makes me depressive, but I have a problem to make the first step to change it. This is a leftover from my ten year abusive relationship, in which it was always me who had to be the one to make this first step after an ‘argument’ (~him yelling at and insulting me because it is my fault that water is wet and it proves how worthless and terrible I am or the like), who had to make the move towards him and do something (usually saying that everything was of course my fault and apologize for being such a terrible person plus a blowjob or a similar sign of submission and surrender - which made my downright physically sick) to reestablish an atmosphere in which a normal life was possible again. Of course it’s a completely different situation with my Master now, but it just takes a while to get rid of this relict from the past, I’m still learning to do that. So I’m very grateful, that He is able and willing to be the one to make the first step after an argument sometimes when I’m not able to do it. Well, we don’t really have serious arguments, but generally speaking.

I definitely love this very much about Him. That harmony in our relationship is so important for Him and that He isn’t this kind of guy full of false pride that prevents Him to make the first step to solve a tense situation.

✜ He is a human being

He is, of course, naturally, a human being, as which He is not perfect and I love about Him that He is not this absolutely flawless, perfect creature some people (girls) here seem to perceive Him as. The Ask was about the qualities I love about Him so of course I list His positive traits, of which He has plenty. But as a human, He also does have His flaws and shortcomings and negative character traits that annoy me or that I don’t like like every other person including myself and I’m glad that He has these. I am a complete wreck, I’m physically and mentally ill and massively ‘flawed’ - whereas He, despite being a human being - is close to perfect by human standards in general already and even more by my personal standards in particular. If He would be even more flawless than He already is, I would feel completely unworthy of Him and my self-confidence would probably burn away in a second in the sunshine-like bright light radiating from His halo. No… that wouldn’t work. I’m too much of a mess to have a relationship with a saint. I love about Him, that He is not one, but does have His negative traits and annoying sides and flaws too.

✜ Humor

He can be so funny. You guys have no idea… His sense of humor is something you don’t see on His blog but I guarantee you, it’s there, and it’s, in my opinion, a really good one. He makes me laugh every single day (some days several times - and I’m not exactly the most positive and cheerful kind of character) just by saying something funny. I definitely love that about Him.

✜ Intelligence & Manners

His intellect is also a quality I love in my man. It is important for me, that we can have a conversation beyond topics like the weather or Trumps pussy grabbing skills. It is important that He can follow my way to think, that He is capable of logical thinking, that He has a certain general knowledge and education.

I also like it when a man has good manners, which He has. A master should know how to behave himself in different situations, how to make a good impression, which my Master does.

✜ Kindness

He just is a very kind person in general. He is polite, friendly, He treats other people with respect (as long as they don’t give Him a reason not to) regardless of their appearance, gender, race etc, He is helpful, has always an open ear and helpful words for those who ask for it. That’s also something I love about Him.

✜ Kink / Fetishes

I like His personal type of kink, His fetishes, His kind of sadism, His preferences and aversions regarding sexuality etc. very much - they match mine virtually perfectly.

For example His sadism. He is not a generally sadistic person, ‘sadistic’ is not one of His character traits, it’s a fetish and that’s a huge difference. He doesn’t like to see me suffer, to torture me, to inflict pain on me in daily life, it’s only a sexual thing for Him, or rather, something in the realm of sexuality in the broadest sense. (One could say that this is a matter of course in BDSM - but no, in my experience it isn’t. It certainly should be, but there are more than enough Doms out there, outside and also inside of the community, who are character-sadists.) But at the same time, He is not the kind of sadist who wants me to enjoy it, He doesn’t need a masochist, He wants me to really suffer. Which is the only way SM works for me, because I am not a masochist, I can’t enjoy pain, pain does not turn me on - for me it is about serving Him by making a sacrifice for Him, which necessarily implies that I do really suffer. Perfect match.

I also love it, very much, about Him that D/s, M/s, TPE is NOT a kink or fetish for Him, but an identity, a lifestyle, a life. For me it’s the same. TPE is not a sexual thing - or not more or less as life is a sexual thing - but it is a relationship-concept, and He shares this point of view.

And the things that are (our) kinks and fetishes and that are not, our preferences, our limits, match very well too. We have exactly the same limits which gives us the freedom to have, in practice, no limits at all within our personal world of sexuality. Our aversions are also basically exactly the same, for example that we both don’t like this rubber and latex thing or that we don’t like others to participate in our sexuality (threesomes, gangbangs, swingerclub etc) and many other things; and so are our preferences.

I also love about Him that He is capable of, what I call, ‘sexual egoism’, to just take me and use my body for His sexual satisfaction. It surprises me in a way but in my experience that’s an exception among good Masters; most men who are capable of sexual egoism are at the same time egocentrics by character (= not good masters) and most men who are good masters have problems to completely focus only on their sexual impulses while ignoring their counterpart one’s. But I need a sexual egoist. I love about Him that He is capable of sexually 100% ego-centric behavior.

I love it about Him, that He matches me so well in all these ways, that He meets my needs in terms of sexuality so perfectly and that I meet His. And btw not only in sexual things, I love that we meet each others needs in general so well.

✜ Physical appearence

Of course I also love His physical attributes - His body is hot as hell (:

He has private sessions for boxing and yoga with a personal trainer/fitness- and nutrition-coach four to five times a week plus does His upper body-, core- and legs-workout almost every day, He doesn’t eat sugar, almost no carbs, salad for every breakfast and dinner, doesn’t smoke, drinks tea instead of coffee, drinks alcohol only rarely and lives in general extremely healthy – and (/which, in this extreme combination, is crazy, but) it shows! There is not a single gram of fat too much on His body, He has a perfectly firm body from top to toe. He is above average tall (6′2 / 190cm) and has the perfect height for me (5′7 / 170cm, so He is still taller than me even when I’m wearing high heels). He has such beautiful hands. Hands are very important for me, if I don’t like a man’s hands, I can’t find him attractive in general, the hands are my favourite part of a man’s body (they are the only part of the body that can touch you everywhere and in so many different ways and intensities, no other part can do that). And His are beautiful, strong hands with (very) long, delicate fingers and all time perfectly filed nails. Another thing… His skin. Oh my god, His skin *drools*! His skin is the softest I ever touched; seriously, I don’t exaggerate, I never met an adult man with skin this soft in my whole life before - His skin is really not normal, in the most positive way. And it’s so warm, always and everywhere, which is perfect since mine is always cold, so I can warm myself up by touching Him (which I do btw constantly, at every opportunity - my hands spend more time under His shirt than at any other place on this planet *g*).

Well… I stop here for the sake of readability (length of the post). I could go on with this paragraph forever but I think you got it by now - I find Him sexy as fuck, I love and most passionately adore every square centimetre of Him and I can’t get enough of this godlike body of His ♥ (:

✜ Possessive, protective and responsible

He is VERY possessive and VERY protective. He has a strong sense of ownership over me and He protects and fights for what is His against all odds. He really sees Himself as my Owner and I need Him to feel this way, I need Him to own me. I love it that I feel owned and protected by Him, I love about Him that He has this feeling of owning me and that He protects me no matter what. I love it that He is aware of the responsibility that comes with owning me and that He is not afraid to take it. And that He is this kind of character who is not only willing but actually capable of bearing such a huge responsibility and being someone another human being is completely dependant on, to care for another to this immense degree that is required in this kind of relationship, someone one can really rely upon as it is absolutely necessary to rely upon a Master as a slave. I love about Him that He is this, very rare, kind of master whom you just believe without doubt when he says ‘Everything is going to be alright’.

✜ Temper and attitude

He is most times very much even-tempered and calm. He doesn’t get angry easily, He doesn’t get loud or even aggressive - extreme situations that really are a reason to get loud or angry excluded of course, but towards me He never loses His temper.

What I also love about Him is, that He never really complains about things. He says He wouldn’t complain because complaining doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t change the situation, and objectively that’s of course right but most people do it anyway because it’s just a natural thing to do normally. Not for Him. When I warm my literally icecold hands under His shirt on His warm body He never complains that I’m causing Him an unpleasant physical sensation. When He had a very severe headache once He didn’t complain about the pain, He said nothing about it, He just suffered through it until it was over. When we had to wait for almost three hours at the foreigners office in order to get information about His residence permit and then missed our number and all the waiting was in vain and we had to come back another day and do it all over again, He didn’t complain about how annoying this is, He just said ‘Okay then let’s come back tomorrow, let’s get up early in the morning and be here 15 minutes before the office opens so that we don’t have to wait this long again and don’t miss our number again’. He never complains and I love that.

✜ The (not so) ‘little’ things (that mean so much)

I love it how He wakes me with a “Good morning Dovey” in the morning and how He ends my day with a “Good night Dovey” in the evening - while holding me in His arms. I love it how He strokes my hair while hugging me, while I’m sitting at His feet, while I fall asleep with my head on His shoulder. I love it when He plays the guitar for me; He plays so beautifully (and that’s an old recording, by now He is even much better). I love it that He is so attentive, that He notices it when I cleaned the kitchen, that He thanks me every time I made Him a tea, that He compliments me when I’m doing something well. I love it to hear Him say “Good girl”, “You are mine” or “You make me proud”. I love about Him that He is a sadist because I love to sacrifice myself for His satisfaction, entertainment and pleasure, I love it to see and feel that it turns Him on to hurt me and that it makes Him happy that I endure pain for Him. I love it how He holds me close in His arms after He hurt me. I love it how He looks while He is sleeping. I love it how He looks while He is working ~ concentrating. I love about Him that He is physically strong and able to defend Himself and to protect me. I love His job, programmer is definitely a ‘sexy’ job for (someone like) me. I already mentioned it, but once again: I love His supernaturally soft skin and I love His hands! I love His independence - He just follows His dreams no matter what others say, He does His thing regardless of other people’s opinion about it. I love about Him that He is a sensitive and emotionally deep person. I love about Him that He has a strong will, is very self-confident, assertive, mentally stable, organized, rational. I love about Him that He isn’t someone who subconsciously tries to compensate for something by dominant behavior, but is a ‘real’ Dominant, meaning a Dominant by character and genes, a classical ‘Alpha-male’. I love about Him that He loves me! I love about Him that He came to me, half way around the planet, when I wasn’t able to come to Him so we could be together which wouldn’t have been possible otherwise, I love about Him that He did that for me!

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I could go on with this list forever. This is only a very small excerpt of the thousand pages book about everything I love about Him, but I think it still gives a good impression already of what it is, that makes my need to serve Him and to make Him happy no matter what, and what makes me myself happy with Him as my Master (:

Wow… I’m… speechless. I love many things about Dovey, but one of my favorites is her mind. With her, ideas aren’t just things to pass through one’s head, but rather playgrounds and puzzles to explore in great depth. Concepts are for following to their logical conclusion. Inconsistencies are to be resolved, no matter how long it takes. She’s one of those rare people who doesn’t suffer from cognitive dissonance. What she says is what she truly believes, and she’s more than prepared to supply evidence to support her reasoning.

I love you, Dovey <3


P.S. The reason why my skin is soft like that is largely because of my diet. What you eat has a HUGE effect on all parts of your body, including your skin. I also don’t use soap on my skin except in extreme circumstances (grease or dirty motor oil or something).

It makes me smile and it makes me happy to read You saying such nice things about me, Sir, thank You.

Thank You for keeping me, for everything You do for me. You are honestly the best Master, Owner, Partner I can imagine. I am so happy, that You own me, I am so happy to be Your slave, Your pet, Your girl, to be the (lucky) one You love and care for. You are a wonderful Keeper.

I love You too, Sir ♡

I thought you love the feeling of not being able to run away but then you posted you hated it? Is there anything at all you don't like in your master? What are you getting him for XMAS?

Reference

It’s a paradox. It’s the same as with pain. I hate (enduring) pain but I love enduring pain for Him to make Him happy. Likewise I hate it (even more) when I can’t run away from this pain, but I love it to be helpless before Him.

Because I don’t like, it it’s a sacrifice. And I like to make Him the gift of a sacrifice.


Yes, of course there are also things I don’t like about Him. See third point of my list what I love about Him, “He is a human being”. Noone is perfect, not even Him (forgive me for revealing this secret about You, Sir (: )

Our mutual Christmas gift will be spending a wonderful evening together, being close to each other, talk and laugh and fuck and be happy that we have each other.