November 2017

Daily choking picture #72

Helpless 🖤

So you are still seeing your parents? Are they the ones sponsoring your lifestyle? Does your master do anything else other than fuck you real hard?

It’s extremely rare that I see my parents. We don’t have the best relationship.

No, I don’t get a single penny from them.

Oh yes, He does many other things too. He whips me real hard, He fists me real hard, He beats me real hard, He pulls my hair real hard and He even makes me chop the veggies for His salad real hard. He does a lot of things. But everything “real hard” of course!

You've claimed to be smart...but your choice of your master proves otherwise.

How could you tell without knowing Him?

Whatever… I have a different opinion: I think I am smart and I think my choice of my Master proves that.

Becoming one is beautiful; suffering because your man is a sadist, is not. Controlling, guiding, even demanding is good. But hurting you deliberately seriously only proves your man is insecure and not at all as strong as he would like to believe he is. In my mind, it actually makes him weak that he enjoys the suffering he causes you. There is no glory in it, no compassion, no grace. It's barbaric, retarded. Just plain violence against you. Call it submission, devotion etc. True Love it is NOT.

Part 2/2: The ultimate proof that your intense intimacy is in fact make believe is that if you were truly his slave, if he bought you or abducted you, he would use you yes, sexually and otherwise (cleaning etc.) but would minimize your pain/suffering so you can be of service for a long time. Just because you are owned and he can hurt you, does not mean he should. It’s foolish, both to you and to him. I know you can’t see. But know this: he is flawed in a way you are blind to. His sadism is not blessed.    

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[I won’t answer every Ask/comment about this matter in such deep detail but I use this Ask to do it properly once, to write everything down I have to say about this subject, so in the future I can just refer to this post if I get similar Asks (which, I’m sure, will happen) and don’t have to waste my precious time every single time over and over again…]

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I don’t share this opinion and I don’t like it that you try to sell it as a fact. It is fine that you personally are not into S&M and wouldn’t want your Dom/partner to hurt you, but that doesn’t mean everybody has to be like this and it is no reason to insult people who live a different kind of life / have a different point of view than you(rs).

You can’t define ‘love’ for everybody, it’s something very personal and means something else for different people. I think, by your description, I understand what ‘love’ is for you, but your definition of love only means that somebody who would hurt you would show you by doing so that he doesn’t really love you (because he would do something to you that you don’t like, need or want and that would even trigger a negative reaction/negative emotions and somebody who loves you wouldn’t do that). But you can’t just transfer this to some other person - it doesn’t mean that another person who does it to somebody else but you also doesn’t love the one he is doing it to. This would be the same as to say “My man shows me his love by making me breakfast every morning, so when another man makes breakfast for his woman it means that he loves her.” No, it does not - he could secretly love another woman and just do it for another reason like prevent his wife from thinking something’s wrong if he would suddenly stop making her breakfast or whatever. You get what I’m trying to say? That something applies to you personally doesn’t mean it applies to everybody else. And especially when it is about love, because this is something very personal and individual that shows through completely different things in different relationships. Same goes for ‘a is good…b is bad…c is foolish….d is not blessed’ and so on. That’s your personal opinion, that’s how it works for you in your life, it is not a general fact and no ‘ultimate proof’ for anything.

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I have a relationship with a wonderful person and in which I am perfectly happy. And to get tortured is not something I consider to be a flaw, a bad thing, in this relationship but something that is part of what makes it so wonderful and me so happy - despite I’m not a masochist = don’t enjoy pain. I have been with different types of Dominants for over 15 years now and some of them were sadists and some of them were not and I can honestly tell you that in the end my relationships with the sadists were the happier ones (which doesn’t mean relationships with sadistic Doms would be more likely to be happy in general, it just was like this for me, of course it’s different for everybody), because it is a different kind of dynamic that works better for me for various reasons. I am happy with my relationship exactly as it is, incl sadism, and that other people, you for example, wouldn’t like this kind of life I am living, wouldn’t be happy with a Master like mine, doesn’t mean that my, our, happiness wouldn’t be ‘valid’ or ‘true’. That’s nonsense. Tolerance is the keyword here. Being tolerant towards other people, different lifestyles, means, to sum it up, to accept and respect that what is true for you doesn’t have to be true for others.

So it is not me who is ‘blind’, it is you. You don’t even know the people you are talking about, Him and me, and whom you are judging. You have obviously no experience with sadism or sadistic Dominants and yet you claim to know - even better than people who have this experience for decades - what it means and doesn’t mean. You don’t have a relationship yourself, or at least not one that fulfills you (I can tell because, anonymous or not, I know whom this Ask is coming from), that you are happy with, and yet believe to know better how a happy relationship has to be than people who are actually living in a happy relationship - and try to convince them that they are wrong about how they see their own relationship. And on top of that you even insult them. That’s the very definition of narrow-minded, intolerant and arrogant. And I, honestly, don’t even mean this to be an insult but just as the logical conclusion of what I wrote before.

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Besides the intolerance/arrogance-problem you are also making a major error in reasoning here - or it’s probably connected to each other. You confuse sadism with violence. Those are two completely different things. A violent man doesn’t love his victim, violence is a sign of insecurity, violence is retarded, a relationship based on violence is not true love, victims of violence are blind to this etc but that has nothing to do with sadism in this context. All your arguments apply to violence but not to sadism in terms of the “S” in (BD)SM (and that’s always the definition of sadism I’m referring to everywhere on my blog, I’m not talking about the sadism of serial killers or the like). Sadism in this context just is not equal violence.

1.) Violence generally includes the possibility of damage or even death. A violent person doesn’t take care not to damage his victim, it doesn’t matter to him in the best case or he even wants to inflict damage in the worst case. - A sadistic Master would never damage or kill his sub, he even takes good care not to damage her. - Violence is about damaging, sadism is about hurting (without damaging). 2.) Violence implies a complete lack / the complete absence of respect towards the victim (because of the first point). Your own physical safety and soundness is THE most basic need a human being has, everything else comes far behind that, is the strongest motivation humans have (if your life is in danger you do something, anything, everything about it no matter the costs), is the last, literally the absolutely very last, thing you would give up for whatever kind of higher purpose, is the one thing that matters before everything else (only exception may be your loved one’s life in some rare cases). Someone who has no respect for this, has no respect for anything about you and doesn’t care for you at all. - A Master, sadistic or not, always respects you (or if he doesn’t respect you he doesn’t deserve this title and you should run away from him at once). 3.) Violence is an ‘error’ in the system (brain, mind, psyche, behavioral pattern etc) - Sadism is an anomaly, a deviation from the average system’s structure. (I admit this is kind of a philosophical question, the violence = system-error thing, it is just my opinion.) And this is a HUGE difference. 4.) Violence is the result of insecurities/disabilities, it only occurs when someone is incapable of handling a difficult situation or his own inner mental or emotional processes. - A sadist never acts sadistic in a crisis (he knows how to handle a crisis in an effective way and these things have nothing to do with each other anyway). Sadism is not a coping mechanism for insecurity, it is a fetish, a sexual preference, a turn-on. That’s two completely different things. 5.) Violence serves a purpose only for the violent person, not for the victim. - Sadism serves a purpose for both (even for me as a non-masochist it serves a purpose = I am getting something out of it that compensates, much more than that, for the pain). 6.) This is the direct consequence of the fifth point. Violence has a ‘positive’ effect on the one, and a negative on the other person. - Sadism has a positive effect on both partners, it makes both, the person who inflicts the pain and the person who receives it, happy in the end.

[plus a thousand other points].

I’m not sure if I could really explain the difference. I feel like trying to explain a blind person what a rainbow looks like. But in the end it doesn’t really matter anyway. You do not need to understand it, just respect it, respect that it is something other people do and are happy with, that’s enough.

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One last thing that is important to me:

You called my Master “insecure, weak, barbaric, retarded, violent, flawed” and someone with “no glory […], no compassion, no grace” and our relationship to each other a fake, our love and happiness an illusion. (And at the same time by doing that you basically accused me of being completely crazy and stupid for being with Him but I just ignore that.)

I do not allow anyone on my blog to insult Him in this way. I only publish these insults now once to have a reason for this exact message to everyone of you, who you read my blog:

You don’t know Him. I do. You don’t know me. I do. You don’t know our relationship, how we are living, what we are doing, how we are feeling. I do. What you believe to know is not the reality but an imagination, is your personal idea of our life, based on a tiny snippet we cut out of our lives and post here. This does not give you the right to judge, let alone insult us. I don’t want to have this kinds of Asks and comments here.

“No judgement zone” isn’t a one-way-road. If you write me about your fantasies and fetishes in your Asks I don’t judge you or even insult you for them but I take every single Ask serious and I’m tolerant towards all kinds of fetishes and preferences -  and I expect the same in return.

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You know, in the end there’s really only one thing that matters… I’m the happiest I ever was in my life with Him. He’s the happiest He ever was in His life with me. What else is there to say?! … And if you can’t say the same about yourself, you should rather spend your time wondering why and shut the fuck up instead of wasting your time on some stranger on the internet. 

Thanks for your attention.

caphooksgrl53x:

inside-mathilda:

That’s (almost) exactly how the collar looks I’m currently wearing (see my avatar).

It’s awesome!

But you have to wear it right? I mean you could say no I don’t want to but that’s defeating the purpose right? :)

Now does most couples wear these and who wears it the sub? Or both?

No, I couldn’t say “I don’t want to wear it” - I have to wear it. I mean… of course I could say it, but I would have to wear it anyway, because it’s the visible representation of His ownership. And of course it is locked, I mean with a real lock, so I couldn’t take it off even if I wanted to.

And I love that, I would never want to take it off. For me it’s not less important than for Him. Actually I feel kind of bad, ‘lonely’ when I’m in a (rare) situation where I can’t wear it (official appointments where I have to look like a normal, serious person or when my parents are present). I love to feel it around my neck because it’s like I can feel His hold over me even when He is not physically there. Same with the metal shackles, I wear them all the time.

No, (normally) the Dom doesn’t wear a collar, only the sub. It’s a symbol of ownership/control / submission/slavery.