June 2017

Yes, please!


⚜|Langer Jason

Could need this right now but noone here…

I’d prefer chains or rope.


Magdalena Franczuk

This could be me… sitting half naked in bed and reading.

Beautiful pose

I’m not exactly sure why (some things are more complicated than one might think) but for me it’s hard, often even impossible, to feel safe when I’m alone. On the other hand… Most times I don’t really feel safe with people around either.

Sometimes I only feel safe when noone is near. Sometimes I only feel safe in someone’s arms.

This sucks.

^ this

I am figuring out which parts of my personality are mine 
and which ones I created to please you.

Lora Mathis, The Dust On This Poem Could Choke You (via larmoyante)

I love the feeling of a strong hand around my neck.

Today I turned 30 and I can’t honestly say I would be happy. Though I don’t seem to look old, e.g. I occasionally still get asked for an ID when buying cigarettes or alcohol (18+ here), I feel old. As if 30 would be some kind of magical threshold that divides youth from maturity.

And I don’t want to be mature. I mean… not forced to be, I want to have a choice. I want to be ‘allowed’ to be childish and silly when I want to without people telling me that I’m not supposed to behave this way. I don’t want people to pity me for not being married or having children or laughing (at me) when I say ‘I don’t know who and where I’ll be in five years and I absolutely don’t care’ as if this was supposed to be a joke.

It seems our society accepts people to stray through life (seemingly) aimlessly and just enjoying their time as long as they are still ‘young’ but the moment you turn 30 you are expected to settle down, marry, raise children, have a well paid job, behave reasonably, have found your place in this world.

A wild 20 year old is interesting, someone with great potential and a marvelous future ahead. A wild 30 year old is sad, misguided, lost, with a past of wasted opportunities behind.

Well, of course, luckily, I am more mature and reasonable than I was ten years ago but I’ll never be this ‘normal’, settled part of society I seem to be expected to become now that I’m no longer part of the youth. And I don’t want to be.

I have to work on not feeling guilty about that.


(Picture above not (by) me. Found online.)


What makes the feeling of being owned so appealing to so many people?

I think it’s the freedom. May sound paradox but actually it is not:
You can’t have every possible kind of freedom at the same time so you must decide which ones are more important, make you happy, and which restrictions you are able and willing to accept for the chosen freedom.
The freedom to do whatever you want and the freedom/being free of responsibility for example contradict one another. Which is the point.
Being (relatively) free of responsibility is in my opinion exactly what can make being owned a feeling of pleasure and a very relaxing state of mind.
Of course sexual desires play a role as well but I’m talking here of a concept of a “total” power exchange, not only a matter of playing together, and in such a relationship responsibility is the key I think, on both sides.
Being owned is giving someone responsibility for yourself. To own someone is being responsible for this person. Everything else evolves from this…

My mood today.

Meeting a psychiatrist


I remember at my first session with a psychiatrist, i was practising my words to answer his questions at the waiting room, i really wanted to run away when it was my turn to meet him.

By entering in the office, the psychiatrist asked me to sit down and be confortable.

He asked me :

- What brings you here ?

And i answered :

- A car

I thing he wanted so bad to laugh because he was smiling. But he justified his question and everything was okay.

This reminds me of something that happened just yesterday :

*some glass or so falls down in another room*
Friend: What was that?
Me: A sound.

A moment after I said it, I noticed that what he meant was “Did you hear that too and if so do you know or have any idea what caused this sound we just heard?” but I just can’t help taking things literally before I had time to analyze the situation/words. Ive become pretty good by now in “guessing” what people mean (by saying something different) but I still need some time to “translate” their language into mine.

(“sequel” to this post )

… and sometimes words are not enough.


So for one month, this is going to be your meditation: live the moment, and bring yourself again and again to the present. Whenever you escape into the future or the past, catch hold, bring yourself back. And for one month, with no worry, not seeking security – just live. And everything will be okay. Everything is always okay.

I do this (or try to) every day of my life for one hour since 2006. The only peaceful (~ calm mind) hour of my day. I envy everyone who is able to actually live in this state. If this is possible at all…


It’s not because I tell her to obey; it’s because she needs to obey.

Beautiful example of submission.
Hands on her back not because physical bonds force her to but because her master wants her to.
Sometimes… most times words are more powerful than chains…


Credits: model is @sensual-muse

WHY by Bob Flanagan

Because it feels good;
because it makes me come;
because I’m sick;
because there was so much sickness;
because I say FUCK THE SICKNESS;
because I like the attention;
because I was alone a lot;
because I was different;
because of what’s inside me;
because of my genes;
because of my parents;
because I had time to think;
because I felt like I was going to die;
because it makes me feel invincible;
because it makes me feel triumphant;
because of my dreams;
because of the games we played;
because I’ve got an active imagination;
because of hammers, nails, clothespins, wood, padlocks, pullies, eyebolts, thumbtacks, staple-guns, sewing needles, wooden spoons, fishing tackle, chains, metal rulers, rubber tubing, spatulas, rope, twine, C-clamps, S-hooks, razor blades, scissors, tweezers, knives, pushpins, two-by-fours, Ping-Pong paddles, alligator clips, duct tape, broomsticks, barbecue skewers, bungie cords, sawhorses, soldering irons;
because of tool sheds;
because of garages;
because of basements;
because of dungeons;
because of the moon;
because it’s in my nature;
because it’s against nature;
because it’s nasty;
because it’s fun;
because it flies in the face of all that’s normal (whatever that is); because I’m not normal;
because my parents loved me even more when I was suffering;
because surrender is sweet;
because I was born into a world of suffering;
because I’m attracted to it;
because I’m addicted to it;
because endorphins in the brain are like a natural kind of heroin;
because it is an act of courage;
because it does take guts;
because I’m proud of it;
because I can’t climb mountains;
because I’m terrible at sports;
because NO PAIN, NO GAIN;


A wonderful piece of poetry about why being submissive/a masochist by one of the - personally I think THE - greatest BDSM-artists ever lived. RIP Bob.

I shortened the poem a bit to make it gender-neutral. Original version here: http://royalcaute.blogspot.de/2008/03/why-poem-by-bob-flanagan.html?m=1


Advice for when you’re sleepless… - @LondonDominance

Exactly what I’ve been trying to tell people for years. Before taking any pharmaceuticals first try your bodies own medication. The cocktail of hormones and neurotransmitters released during orgasm is more effective than sleeping (or pain) pills in many cases.

But nobody wants to hear it!?
I learned it is inappropriate to discuss such things with other people but I still don’t understand why. Sexual topics have become pretty common in conversations it seems but masturbation still appears to be some kind of taboo, even in a scientific context. Strange.


Beautiful picture by the way.

I just love this picture!

Great work. Model, rigger and photographer alike. Great picture.


Not my work, all credits to the artist. Have a look at his works, more great rope art there > see source.




I went to get a prescription refilled the other day and there was a different pharmacist.  My experience went something like this.  
Different Pharmacist: Hi may I help you?
Me: You are a different pharmacist. (In a very confused look and tone)
DP: The other pharmacist is on vacation, how can I help you.
Me: You are a different pharmacist.
DP: What is your last name?
Me: You are a different pharmacist.
DP: Did you need a refill?
Me: You are a different pharmacist.
Pharmacy tech: (running up to the other machine) What did you need a refill on?
Me: (Looking at the tech still very confused in look and tone) That is a different pharmacist.
PT: Yup, he is filling in, what did you need refilled?
I told her and was just completely confused for the rest of the interaction.  I kept looking at the different pharmacist, confused.

Now I find it quite funny.  The sad part is though this is how things like this normally go for me.

I can totally relate.
Except I wouldn’t repeat this fact five times (ok I probably would, but in my head) but just leave the pharmacy after I’ve found out that the usual pharmacist is not there and panic for the rest of the day about how to get my medication now.

Corner time.

I like the picture. So calm…


I’ll play you majestically - @BirminghamDominance

Playing me like a violin… takes a lot of practice.


Laurence Koe - Sappho (detail)



rope and photo by me

models:  @camdamage and @ropebaby

I like the somewhat strange combination of cuddling and fisting… soft and hard.


You like that incredible feeling of being owned

Yes, I do.

So do I…


About this blog

(note: some links are broken but you can search for the tags directly in the blog search by #nameoftag. I’ll try to fix the links soon.)

I. NSFW / 18/21+: This blog is, not completely but mostly, kink-related. Though you won’t find usual porn here but (what I consider to be) aesthetical images of nudity/sex, there will still be (kinky) #sexually explicit content, so please leave when under age of consent or triggered in any way by such content.

II. CAPTIONS 1) My captions: You do NOT need to leave my captions intact if you don’t want to, except stated otherwise. Only general exception: My own pictures (#original picture). Leave my caption intact or if there is none give credit in your reblog/below your own caption, and don’t delete the picture’s source and watermark. Thank you. To protect my pictures/copyright I will block and report everyone who does not follow this rule! 2a) Your captions in my reblogs: I usually delete captions when I reblog pictures except it’s explicitly forbidden to do so on the authors blog/the caption itself or if the caption contains credits/source. If I deleted your caption against your will and you therefor want my reblog removed, message me. 2b) Your captions in your reblogs of #original content of mine: If you reblog my original pictures or texts I explicitly forbid captions that include/imply racism, sexism/misogyny, fascism, fanaticism, xenophobia etc. of any kind! I do NOT give my permission to publish my content on your blog with captions of such kind! I’m happy about every reblog though and besides this one rule you may of course feel free to write whatever you want.

III. SUBJECT: This blog does not follow a particular topic, but is about everything that’s going on in my head. However there are two main subjects: #ds (domination and submission) in the broadest sense and  #autism & @keepingher for those influence my life the most.

IV. TAGGING SYSTEM (most used tags etc) If you are interested in bdsm-related pictures search for #picture, if you want to find out more about my person go for #me, #personal, #original content, #our ds. Also have a look at #important post and #note.

V. DISCLAIMER: No content is original except stated otherwise which I will do by the tag #original content. Most pictures on this blog will be reblogs. When I post a picture myself I will always add a source, though this ‘source’ might be just ‘google’ when I have no further information; in this case I assume the pictures to be public domain. Please message me when you find any copyright violations, missing credits and/or want your content removed from this blog. I do not intend to claim any picture or other content here my own (except #original content) or publish it against the owners will.


Messages and Asks are welcome as long as they are polite and have any relation to this blog or my person. I live as a Submissive for 10+ years - if you have any questions about this way of life feel free to ask. (I do not consider a picture of your, or anyone’s, dick, that I didn’t ask for, “polite”! Rest assured that I would let you know if I’d want to see you masturbating or whatever - no need to spam my inbox with such crap. Thank you. )



About me/us

I am happily owned by and married to @keepingher ! So - @ doms - do not approach me with relationship or play offers. Do not talk to me in a way you wouldn’t want other Dominants to talk to your slave! Do not think I could have any sort of romantic or physical interest in you - I’m endlessly loyal and all His! I’m always open for a polite conversation about everything discussed on my blog though, with everybody who is willing. So don’t be shy and contact me if you want to talk about something in a friendly manner. My Master has no problem with me talking to potentially anybody here, regardless of gender, who is respectful.

Also… I’m a female, 31 years old submissive from Germany. My Master is a 43 year old, male Dominant from Canada. We live together in Germany, in a 24/7, TPE like, low-ish protocol M/s Dynamic bazed on traditional gender roles, unconditional obedience, and the deepest trust, love and respect for each other. He leads - I follow. He commands, decides, controls - I kneel, submit, obey. He is a sadist and a Caregiver, I’m His slave and His ‘Dovey’. I only submit to Him and nobody else. We are Master and slave, servant, submissive. Husband and wife. Partners in everything. Lovers and best friends. Owner and property, pet. Companions for life. A (dream-) Team. Each other’s greatest source of happiness. All at once <3


Alien | Altruist | Artist | Autist | Dreamer | Gamer | German | Human | Scientist | Servant | Slave | Vegetarian | Wife | Writer

addicted | complicated | confused | crazy | different | happy | honest | in love | intelligent | frank | meek | (often) misunderstood | naughty | obedient | owned | proud | rational | spiritual | strange | strong | stubborn | submissive | weird

(and much more)

____________________________________ Personal FAQ Please read before sending a question regarding my person via ask or private message. ____________________________________

My header image is 'Moon’ by Michael Creese. My avatar picture is me by me.


Thank you for reading this! 🌼